The Love, The Booze, The Dance, and That Song

Tuesday, September 19, 2006 , 10:41 PM

emo sets in.

worked and saw shulin today. started to think about many many stuffs that has been happening or had happened. weariness sets in too, making me wonder the point of drifting aprt and trying to fix that bond back time and again. i don't know what to say anymore. friends once close can actually be together and not utter a word to break a long silence. topics are never the same again, they just got lesser and lesser until i don't know wad i should do anymore.

it's always the drifting apart and fixing the bonds. and all these just make me wonder how strong the bonds actually are. many things that happened i don't wish to speak to you people about it anymore. not ebcause i don't wish to. we've drifted till i don't know where to begin anymore, hard as we try, i begin to realise we spent more time on fixing the bonds than maintaining them. a lot more time.

we used to relate to one another so comfortably, we used to just blabber everything that happen to come to mind, anything under the sun. now? not anymore, we're always trying hard to think of topics, think of something to break silences and it just doesn't feel as true as before. not anymore. i'm beginning to keep alot of stuffs to myself and not talking to people about it anymore. my issues don't seem important anymore. and i too realised as time passed, i cannot communicate as well as before to people. i rather keep myself in my own world and not relate anything to just anyone comfortably. i've grown and i've thought long and hard about all these. i guess we should take that wee bit of time to think about whether it's maintaining and cherishing or continue to spend tons of time to fix the bonds when cracks start to appear.

maybe it's time for her to just ~~stop speaking~~

vibrant smiles gone. hysterical laughters no more. late night chats lost. squeezing time out for one another not anymore. fixing the bonds when cracked; always.